Mastering the Art of Heart-to-Heart Conversations to Gain Instant Reconnection

September 8, 2020

Relationship Connection Convo

By: Hailey Patry

An adaptation from my book: HAPPY LOVE – 5 Essential Steps To Help Frustrated Couples Fall in Love Again

Gain Instant Reconnection – 

Mastering the Art of Heart-to-Heart Conversations

“One talk, done this way, forever changed our marriage.”

“There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.” – George Sand

“The first duty of love is to listen.” – Paul Tillich

Of the six simple steps you can take today, to make your relationship extraordinary (even if that currently seems impossible), we’re now going to cover step two. This post is dedicated to mastering the art of heart-to-heart conversations to gain instant reconnection.

Have you ever sat across from your partner and wondered, during the awkward silence, what you could possibly say to make things better? Many couples feel like they have lost their words, their conversation skills, and even the confidence to communicate at all… because they feel stuck.

Good news: There is a conversation formula that works to improve your connection and fulfillment, if you do the work. This is the very same heart-to-heart conversation formula I have used with all of my private clients as they restored, rewrote, and enhanced their relationships. It’s amazing how much you can accomplish with this one conversation.

 Take some time to plan what you are going to say, schedule the time, and have this talk. Here’s the formula to bring you and your partner closer together again, with a good heart-to-heart chat:

My vision for our relationship is…

The apologies I want to make to you are…

The requests I have of you are…

This conversation formula allows you to actually have something meaningful to talk about, especially when things have been tense or distant. It’s a good idea for both of you to prepare for this talk in advance, which also helps to calm your nerves and sets an intention to take each other seriously, because your relationship matters, and your feelings matter.

First, let your partner know that you care about them, you care about your relationship, and you care about your emotional well-being. For those reasons, you want to have a loving talk with them, and ask them to clear some time for this talk to take place, without kids present or other possible distractions. If necessary, get a babysitter or take an afternoon off work together. Your relationship is worth it. 

Give your partner the framework for the talk. Let them know that this comes from a Marriage Mentor who has supported thousands of clients just like you, but more importantly, that this comes from an expert who has a loving, healthy, happy, thriving marriage personally!

Ask your partner to spend some time thinking about the three topics of conversation, before you meet to have your talk. Go to the tools section on the website,, to print off two copies of the template for your conversation, and you can fill it in right on the sheet. One copy is for you, and one is for your partner to fill in. Once again, the three topics are:

The vision or dream I have for our relationship is….

The apologies I want to make to you are….

The requests I am asking of you, to improve our relationship, are…

When you have your talk, remember to start with a loving intention, and bring that energy to the conversation. “Sweetheart (or whatever name you call your partner), because I care about you, because I care about me, and because I especially care about US…. I am so grateful that you are sitting with me for this talk so that we can make our relationship even better. I have had some things on my heart and my mind that I need to share with you. We’ll take turns. I want to share my vision and then hear yours. There are some things I want to apologize for, and hopefully you have some too. Then I want to ask you some heartfelt requests, and I also want to hear yours.”

I suggest having this conversation with a relaxing drink and something to nibble on. Don’t do this while attempting to cook or do dishes. Put your phones away, and really focus on each other. This conversation can literally open the door to resetting and recharging your relationship. Give it all you’ve got. Your relationship is counting on it!

If you want support in how to make this conversation a game-changer, or you are nervous about what to say, how it will go, or how your partner will respond…reach out! I am here for you! I support clients just like you, every day, to make this conversation light, loving, and effective. You can visit to learn more about the book and you can go to to schedule a session, or text (416)797-5856 for urgent support.

I can’t wait to show you how easy it can be to finally have everything you want in your relationship—well, almost everything. And you my friend, deserve it!

Xo Hailey

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